Feeling mad? Good! Here's how to use that anger more positively.
By Melissa Matthews, Men’s Health
When it comes to talking about anger, the conversation usually turns to how and why we should free ourselves of the emotion. As the thinking usually goes, anger is bad for our health and fosters negativity.
But the emotion has potential to do more than just turn you into a bright red rage monster. Sometimes it's okay—and even healthy—to be angry, as Charles Duhigg points out in The Atlantic.
Duhigg spent a year researching the most common roots of anger in Americans, especially in light of today's hyper-charged political climate. Surprisingly, Duhigg found that anger isn't always as bad as everyone makes it out to be.
Anger gets a bad rep because the emotion is often linked with violence—but the two aren't necessarily related. In a 2003 American Psychological Association article, Howard Kassinove, PhD and co-author of Anger Management: The Complete Treatment Guidebook for Practice, explained that anger leads to aggression roughly 10 percent of the time. He further notes that lots of aggressive acts are committed without anger.
Instead, the frequently maligned emotion can actually serve you well. Here's how.
When it comes to talking about anger, the conversation usually turns to how and why we should free ourselves of the emotion. As the thinking usually goes, anger is bad for our health and fosters negativity.
But the emotion has potential to do more than just turn you into a bright red rage monster. Sometimes it's okay—and even healthy—to be angry, as Charles Duhigg points out in The Atlantic.
Duhigg spent a year researching the most common roots of anger in Americans, especially in light of today's hyper-charged political climate. Surprisingly, Duhigg found that anger isn't always as bad as everyone makes it out to be.
Anger gets a bad rep because the emotion is often linked with violence—but the two aren't necessarily related. In a 2003 American Psychological Association article, Howard Kassinove, PhD and co-author of Anger Management: The Complete Treatment Guidebook for Practice, explained that anger leads to aggression roughly 10 percent of the time. He further notes that lots of aggressive acts are committed without anger.
Instead, the frequently maligned emotion can actually serve you well. Here's how.
Anger Helps You Speak Clearly
Sure, you may want to say a few choice words to that cubicle mate who listens to music without headphones, but chances are you won't actually go through with the scolding. People generally use a filter when communicating their feelings so they don't appear brash or insensitive.
But getting angry allows you to remove that filter and say what you really feel, says Ken Yeager, PhD, LISW and Clinical Director of the Stress, Trauma and Resilience program at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center.
"Too often people are busy trying to say it in a way that’s polite, but meaning gets lost in the process," he tells MensHealth.com. "When a person is angry, they’re in the midst of flight or fight. They’re going to say exactly what they need, exactly what they think to get their point across."
But getting angry allows you to remove that filter and say what you really feel, says Ken Yeager, PhD, LISW and Clinical Director of the Stress, Trauma and Resilience program at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center.
"Too often people are busy trying to say it in a way that’s polite, but meaning gets lost in the process," he tells MensHealth.com. "When a person is angry, they’re in the midst of flight or fight. They’re going to say exactly what they need, exactly what they think to get their point across."
Anger Helps You Negotiate
Shockingly, angry conversations don't usually result in blowout screaming matches. Duhigg's article cites the findings of Massachusetts at Amherst Psychology Professor James Averill, who studied anger and response in the late 1970s. Averill surveyed people about how often they got angry and were asked to describe a particularly upsetting experience.
Averill discovered that angry people were able to resolve their problems favorably. Case in point: an angry teen had his curfew changed after shouting at his parents.
"In the vast majority of cases, expressing anger resulted in all parties becoming more willing to listen, more inclined to speak honestly, more accommodating of each other’s complaints," Duhigg writes.
However, the intensity of your anger is important for making this work. Earlier this year, researchers at Rice University found that people who were moderately angry negotiate their needs better than people who were either very angry or had little anger.
Researchers believe this is because moderately angry people are viewed as tough, while people who express even more extreme emotions are viewed as inappropriate.
Averill discovered that angry people were able to resolve their problems favorably. Case in point: an angry teen had his curfew changed after shouting at his parents.
"In the vast majority of cases, expressing anger resulted in all parties becoming more willing to listen, more inclined to speak honestly, more accommodating of each other’s complaints," Duhigg writes.
However, the intensity of your anger is important for making this work. Earlier this year, researchers at Rice University found that people who were moderately angry negotiate their needs better than people who were either very angry or had little anger.
Researchers believe this is because moderately angry people are viewed as tough, while people who express even more extreme emotions are viewed as inappropriate.
Anger Motivates Us
Anger can be the kick in the butt people need to start a new project or make a change because it fuels passion, says Yeager.
Duhigg sees this phenomena most in American politics, as he believes successful politicians win because they tap into people's anger and inspire them to vote. This is why Averill never discounted the strength of current President Trump's unlikely candidacy, according to Duhigg's reporting.
There's no denying that the result of the 2016 Presidential election caused anger. Shortly after Trump's inauguration in 2017, angry Americans took to the streets and marched in protest of the President's policies. Around the world, more than five million people marched in protest and to advocate for women's rights in January 2017.
But not all fear-induced change has to be big. Anger can spark creativity at work and allow us to develop new initiatives or campaigns, says Yeager.
"If you let go of your anger, you understand that there’s a change possible," he says. "A lot of people stay stuck in 'that’s the way we’ve always done it.' Nothing creative comes out of that."
Duhigg sees this phenomena most in American politics, as he believes successful politicians win because they tap into people's anger and inspire them to vote. This is why Averill never discounted the strength of current President Trump's unlikely candidacy, according to Duhigg's reporting.
There's no denying that the result of the 2016 Presidential election caused anger. Shortly after Trump's inauguration in 2017, angry Americans took to the streets and marched in protest of the President's policies. Around the world, more than five million people marched in protest and to advocate for women's rights in January 2017.
But not all fear-induced change has to be big. Anger can spark creativity at work and allow us to develop new initiatives or campaigns, says Yeager.
"If you let go of your anger, you understand that there’s a change possible," he says. "A lot of people stay stuck in 'that’s the way we’ve always done it.' Nothing creative comes out of that."
Anger is Cathartic
Think about the last time you skipped the B.S. and told someone what you really thought. It felt pretty good, right?
Averill found that people were happier, more optimistic, and relieved after yelling during an argument. Although we associate aggression with anger, the two aren't as intermingled as we think. In fact, our brains experience anger in a positive way, Dacher Keltner, the director of the Berkeley Social Interaction Lab, tells The Atlantic.
“When we look at the brains of people who are expressing anger, they look very similar to people who are experiencing happiness,” Keltner said. “When we become angry, we feel like we’re taking control, like we’re getting power over something.”
But before you unleash a year's worth of annoyance onto your friends and family, just remember that anger is like most things: best in moderation.
"A little anger is a good thing, and a lot of anger is not a good thing," says Yeager.
You'll know you've tiptoed the line when being angry is all you can think about. Personal attacks, insults, and demeaning comments are also destructive. "That’s when you fall into potential for violence," says Yeager.
Outside of that, Yeager says it's okay to get a little heated. "Arguments are healthy," he admits.
The next time you lose your cool, just remember: it's not all that bad. Harness those feelings to get something done, and you'll be the better for it.
Averill found that people were happier, more optimistic, and relieved after yelling during an argument. Although we associate aggression with anger, the two aren't as intermingled as we think. In fact, our brains experience anger in a positive way, Dacher Keltner, the director of the Berkeley Social Interaction Lab, tells The Atlantic.
“When we look at the brains of people who are expressing anger, they look very similar to people who are experiencing happiness,” Keltner said. “When we become angry, we feel like we’re taking control, like we’re getting power over something.”
But before you unleash a year's worth of annoyance onto your friends and family, just remember that anger is like most things: best in moderation.
"A little anger is a good thing, and a lot of anger is not a good thing," says Yeager.
You'll know you've tiptoed the line when being angry is all you can think about. Personal attacks, insults, and demeaning comments are also destructive. "That’s when you fall into potential for violence," says Yeager.
Outside of that, Yeager says it's okay to get a little heated. "Arguments are healthy," he admits.
The next time you lose your cool, just remember: it's not all that bad. Harness those feelings to get something done, and you'll be the better for it.
