The Biggest Mistake A Man Can Make

Stop and think for a second: what periods of your life do you remember as being the highest of highs– happy, gratifying, and marked by growth?

And what periods of your life do you remember as being the lowest of lows– depressing, frustrating, and marked by stagnation?

I can immediately recall one period for each of the above. One of my best moments was when I made the move to quit my 9-5 and attempt to build a personal training business from the ground up. I put everything on the line in hopes of achieving a lofty goal. And I did. And at the same time I prospered in other areas of my life.

One of my worst moments was in my second year of university when I was unsure of what I would choose as my area of concentration. I stagnated, not just academically, but in all areas of my life– women, fitness, health, happiness, etc.

What is the thread that ties these two opposing periods together? I’m convinced that it’s the presence or absence of a dedicated mission in my life.

You Must Never Be Without A Primary Mission
When I was crushing it, I had a well defined mission that I was directing all of my daily efforts towards. This drove me forward and filled me with a sense of purpose, inspiration, and vitality.

On the other hand, when I was a depressed sophomore in college, I had nothing that even came close to resembling a primary mission, goal, or purpose in my life. I was drifting through my daily routine. And everything around me was crumbling as a result.

The second you find yourself without a primary objective that you’re actively pursuing is the second you’re liable to enter a depressed, unproductive period of your life. You simply cannot fall into an unconscious groove. A man without a purpose – without something to work towards – is emasculated. He is impotent. He is unable to function anywhere near his potential.

The key is to catch yourself when you’re feeling down,  confused, or lost. You must catch yourself when you begin to fill your free time browsing the internet mindlessly or playing video games. You must identify your lack of a mission. And then you must fill the void.

And It Doesn’t Matter What Exactly Your Mission Is
The biggest mistake you can make once you realize you need to provide your life with direction is being indecisive about what that direction should be. In the end it doesn’t really matter. It could be writing a book. It could be obtaining a specific position. It could be creating an app. It could be learning a martial art. It could be packing on 20 pounds of muscle. It doesn’t matter.

As long as you create a goal that you can work towards and immerse yourself in, you’re deeper masculine need for a purpose will be fulfilled. You’ll avoid spending all your down time trying to distract yourself from living life with the internet and silly fantasies.

And, most importantly, your mood, energy, and overall character will be elevated. You’ll feel revitalized. You’ll feel amazing. And you’ll undoubtedly begin to exude these feelings outward, invigorating and attracting everyone you come into contact with. In short, you’ll be crushing it.

Check out my new book Dominate for more on living life aggressively. Click here for reviews and more info.

By Jefe
Jefe is an engineer and personal trainer known for his bestselling books on men's fitness and self improvement. Follow him at

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Men's Magazine: The Biggest Mistake A Man Can Make
The Biggest Mistake A Man Can Make
Men's Magazine
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