If you ask your friend or sister what they are looking for in a man, they would probably tell you that they want a nice guy who treats them well and has a job. Sounds like a lot of single guys you know, right? Maybe even you. So why can’t all these single guys find a woman if they are so sought after? The truth is that while women do want a guy who treats them well and has a job, there are many more elements in a man that women are REALLY looking for.
The Good Part Of The Bad Boy Mentality – And How You Can Use It To Your Advantage
All women say they want a nice guy, but most women will pick a bad boy over a truly nice guy. Why is that? When you truly look at the reasons bad boys win out, you can easily see two distinct qualities that nice guys don’t have.
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They Satisfy A Woman’s Biological Need For A Masculine Man
First, on a biological level, women are hardwired to go after dominant, confident, and masculine men. A long time ago, mate selection (for women) was based on who could provide a woman with her basic needs as well as strong, healthy offspring; and unfortunately, the men who displayed these traits were generally bad boys. They had the confidence to get the food or lead the group or make life saving decisions.
Nowadays, women don’t need to be provided for, and many are not family orientated like they once were, but they still are hardwired with an instinct to go after the guy who can provide for them if need be.
This means that if you are a nice guy, you need to show a woman that you can also stand up for yourself when it counts. You need to show her that you are willing to do what it takes to provide, protect, and be there for her. In other words, you need to not wimp out when it comes to the happiness and health of yourself and your family.
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They Can Be A Challenge For A Woman
Women (just like all humans) often want what they can’t have. No matter what kind of guy you are, the less you care about getting together with a woman, the more intrigued she will be with you. Why? Because you appear to be confident and selective, and that is sexy. Bad boys have that ‘I don’t care’ attitude, and women are drawn to it.
Most nice guys are not that picky. They are more than happy to text back immediately, come when they are called, and get involved with a woman who doesn’t treat them the way they should be treated. Those traits can ruin your chances of keeping a woman because they give her all the power.
I don’t want to say that you should approach relationships as a power struggle. But it is important to know that one person having all the power results in an unhealthy relationship, even if the relationship is brand new.
There has to be a push and pull in the relationship. You have to let her come to you as often as you go to her to create that back-and-forth longing and desire.
There Are Nice Guy Qualities That Really Do Attract Women
Young stylish couple flirting in the nightclub
Your friend or sister told you that they want a nice guy who treats them well and has a job, right? They weren’t making that up! They really want a guy who treats them with respect, love, compassion, as well as a guy who doesn’t sit on the couch all day waiting for free money to fall in their lap.
The irony is that if a bad boy had nice guy qualities, while maintaining the above two qualities that attract women to bad boys, he would be perfect.
And if a nice guy had some bad boy qualities, while maintaining the good guy qualities that women need to feel loved, then he would be perfect.
Unfortunately, a bad boy has the mentality of ‘I don’t care’, while a nice guy has the mentality that forces them to care, and it can be hard to find that balance.
For example, a nice guy will not want to hurt a woman’s feelings. When his woman asks him to come over and make her an omelette (when she is perfectly capable of doing it herself), he will likely come over – even if he is busy, because he wants to make her happy and that’s what he figures he should do. This reduces the push-pull in the relationship, and makes the woman lose interest in him.
Add Modern Day Desires And You Get…
What women want is a mixture of a bad boy and a nice guy. But there is more: They also want a man who understands their role in today’s world.
No longer are women just the wife and mother who run the house. A man who can respect women and their strong role in society, will earn the respect of any woman.
This means that they want a man who allows (and supports) them to be independent and pursue their dreams.
Why Do Women Fall For Abusive Men?
The bad boy image is often tied into the abusive image, but they are very different. A bad boy is confident in himself. An abusive man is just a jerk who lacks confidence and takes it out on other people, especially people who are weaker than him physically.
A lot of women get into relationships where they are severely physically or mentally abused, but choose to stay in them rather than pursue a man who is openly kind and loving. Why?
Many women want to ‘save’ a man and help him become better. They want to be the one that changes him and takes away all of his bad traits.
Nurturing, compassion, and understanding are some feminine traits, and many women naturally have an instinctual (and strong) desire to help a man become happier or healthier, even at the sacrifice of their own happiness and health. Unfortunately the strong desire to help their man strengthens the attachment women feel and keeps them stuck in the relationship.
Women in these relationships are not happy. And it takes a long time for many women to give up on a relationship like this.
What Women Want: The Bottom Line
Things like physical desires can vary from woman to woman, but all women generally want the same thing in a man.
- They want a confident man who can stand up for himself and isn’t needy, but still offers them the comfort, support, and compassion a woman needs to feel valued and loved.
- They want a man who goes after his goals in life, but still tries to make her a priority in his life.
- They want a man who is not smothering.
- They want a man who is supportive of the choices they make.
In short, they want a man who has a happy blend of the bad boy and nice guy with a little modern day man thrown in.
By Bellaisa
